I'm having one of those nights.

One of those nights wby I dont feel like heading home but cant think of anyw to go. Movie timings ain't right; my damn water heater is down so jogging is out of e qns, too full for a meal. Gees.

One of those nights wby thoughts just come to me. Work, money, personal matters & e nv ending list.

& one of those nights tt I feel like letting it all out to someone but always decide against it cus no one is of help.

So I cried.

It wasn't one of e tears flowing down e cheeks kinda cry. More like a couldn't help but cant breathe properly kinda cry, letting out painful sounds at some point in time kinda cry. The kind of cry wby tears just cant stop flowing no matter how hard I try. & aft I successfully stop e tears, within e next few mins, e damn drama will start all over again.

Yes, as everyone knows, I cry easily.

I am a frigging cry baby.

I dont even rmb crying this badly; I think e last time I cried so bad was when one of my favourite uncles passed on.

It was rly painful; like someone punching me rly rly hard on my chest, so hard tt I cant feel anything at all. Tt it's all empty & has left a permanent hole in heart. Void, empty & v much alone.

Tt excruciating pain tt I cant put into words, neither can anyone. I felt so frustrated tt I had to squeeze onto my own arm rly hard to relief it.. But what is tt pain on my arm compared to tt pain tt I was going through? Almost ntg.

Many thoughts came running to me but I just couldn't decide on what to do at tt point in time & letting e tears out seems to be a much better option than deciding on anything concrete.

I keep telling myself tt I will pick myself up no matter what. I have done so so many many many times before so this is just one of it.

I feel like one of those boxes tt has a big red scotch tape over it which says FRAGILE. But actually, most of e time, it's just a false alarm. Ntg in tt box is tt fragile but it is just a warning for everyone handling it to be extra careful. I guess e box just wants a lil more attention, care & concern.

But I am a strong girl. I believe I am one. So I'll def pick myself up from e mess & be e scotch tape tt's protecting e box.

I'm just having one of those nights..


Rly.